My Top Ten (and counting) Uses for Coconut Oil

Coconut Oil has been taking on the world as more and more people discover the many uses for it. And when I say many uses, I mean countless. Seriously! I recently discovered coconut oil after I gave birth to my son Jett. As you all know, he was premature. And with that being said, there's this awesome machine that you get hooked up to about every 3 hours for 20 minutes. AROUND THE CLOCK. Can you guess what machine I'm talking about? Well in case you haven't caught on, it's called a breast pump. YUP.

In order to give your baby the best without actually having to breastfeed, you gotta pump (this leads to a whole other story, I'll try not to get carried away). Well, this momma is giving her baby the best liquid gold that has ever existed. In the female world, we call this EPing, or Exclusively Pumping. The rules are as follows: 1). Pump every 3 hours or as often as your baby would eat 2). At each pumping session you should pump for approx. 15-20 minutes and two minutes past the last drop. Which never really worked out for me because my boobs are like a factory and they never stop making milk, and yes, I even leak-just like that old faucet at your grandmother's house that drip, drip, drips. (Okay too much! Sorry!) 3). You must pump during the night or a MOTN (middle of the night) pump just as your baby would wake you during the night to eat. And if you don't do everything as follows, you'll eventually lose your supply and go into a deep depression. And never, ever want to come out of it because your precious babes will never get another drop of liquid gold. And you may also experience a mild case of crazy because your daily life routine revolves around that stupid machine and you may or may not fall asleep at 3 am and accidentally spill 4 ounces of absolute hard work all over yourself. Sounds like fun, right?

I THOUGHT THIS WAS ABOUT COCONUT OIL LADY

Told you I would try to not get carried away. Anyways, with all of that being said, I've learned that along with all that mess I was talking about before, your, um, nipples, can I say that word? Okay get this giggles out, (hahahaha) your nipples get cracked, sore, dry like the flippin' Sahara Dessert and stretched out like one of Stretch Armstrong's leg (except my nipples don't retail for over $1,000).  And soon enough, you'll be avoiding the mirror every time you change your bra and you'll be standing like a hunchback in the shower because the drops of water feel like someone is shooting a pellet gun straight at those sore nips. THE THINGS WE DO FOR OUR CHILDREN.

In the hospital they give you this cream called Lanolin which apparently helps with soreness, cracks, its all natural and its safe for baby to digest. WELL THE SHIT SUCKS. At least for me it does. A lot of women rave over it and think its amazing. I hate it. It smells weird, it does not glide on smooth as the bottle says, it taste like nothing but sticks to your tongue (yes, I tried it. If it's okay for baby to digest then I'm gonna see what the heck it taste like).

1. Nipple Cream: So since I'm so smart I threw that crap out and bought myself a big ol' tub of Coconut Oil. I bought mine at our local whole foods store. But I've seen it at grocery stores, Wal Mart, and some Walgreens. I just take a little bit of that goodness on my finger and it instantly melts to my warmth. It glides on like a champ, smells and tastes good, is TOTALLY okay for baby to digest and coconut oil naturally has antifungal properties. So, it helps fight against any yeast infections you may get on your nipples (known as Thrush) as well as relieve soreness. I got my first case of thrush about 2 months into my pumping journey and discovered that Lanolin (that stuff they hand out in hospitals) actually helps yeast and bacteria grow. YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

2. Make-Up Remover: When you are finally capable of taking care of yourself, i.e. showering, brushing your teeth, not looking like you just had a baby, you may start to wear makeup one day and maybe even feel pretty again! Yes, it's possible mommas! Ever feel like makeup remover is trying to burn your eyelashes off? Maybe it's just me, I do have super sensitive skin, but that crap burns! And then my face is all red and blotchy right before I hit the pillow and now I know why my husband falls asleep before I get a goodnight kiss. Just put that goodness right on your lids, rub it back and forth and wipe off with a cotton ball. I follow with a good splash of warm water to get rid of the residue.

3. Shaving Cream: Yep, that's right. I do not buy shaving cream. And unless you are a cave women, or you are a man reading this (hi honey!) you should know how to use shaving cream. I then follow up with cheap disposable razors instead of the $15 cartridges that fit on a razor head because the coconut oil really does all the work. Say goodbye to ingrown hairs and razor bumps! Remember the part about antifungal properties? Well it also helps get rid of those nasty things too!

4. Hair Mask: I rarely ever do a hair mask. Mainly because I don't have many issues with hair dullness or split ends (thank you hair goddesses). But, when I'm feeling like my hair has dealt with too much heat, looks dull, or has that nasty "you tease your hair too much" feel I get my hair wet and scoop some coconut oil right out the jar and drench my hair. I scrub my scalp with it and run it through my ends. I leave it in anywhere from 15-30 minutes (sometimes while I pump!) and then rinse. Adds a healthy shine and softness that your hair might need!

5. Butter Substitute: If you know me well enough, you know I get carried away with the butter knife. I had extra butter, peanut butter, and Nutella to anything and everything and sometimes I wonder why I'm not 900 pounds. You're gonna say lucky you but not really. Fast metabolism, maybe but in fact, my heart is thanking me after I substituted butter for coconut oil. Stir it in your oatmeal, on your toast, whatever! TRY IT.

6. Diaper Rash Cream: Every babe gets a diaper rash, at least once in their little lives. If not, SHARE YOUR SECRET MOMMA. Well my little dude has gotten a pretty good (I really mean awful) diaper rash. Slap some coconut oil on those cheeks and you'll be happy you read this blog.

7. Tanning Lotion: Okay who doesn't like to be tan?? I didn't say orange (I've been there though) but tan. At least a little color anyways is always nice to have. You can use it for inside or outside tanning, smells good and adds as an extra moisturizer.

8. Fat: Coconut oil also comes in a pill form. I bought mine from Wal Mart for cheap. I take mine for one main reason, and that's to add extra fats to my breast milk. Babies need fat, and it's very important for their growth. This helps with that a lot and is also known for it's exceptional health benefits, including nutrients that helps promote vibrant health and energy. IT WORKS.

9. Chapstick: This is pretty self explanatory. I scoop a tablespoon out and put it in a little tin container I bought and throw it in my bag. Refill as needed.

10. Tea, Coffee Creamer or Smoothie Additive: Another way for your heart to thank you. Say no to coffee creamers that ad an extra 300 plus calories to your drink and replace with coconut oil. Add some extra flavor to your fruit smoothies or that dull tasting tea.